The Seedy Seed of Greed. Mike Murdock goes a-farming for a harvet.

I saw about 1 minute of Mike Murdock on the Miracle Channel today, with the intent to watch it through, but I couldn’t do it. He claimed to have written a “love song to the Holy Spirit”. O.K., whatever floats his boat. Then he started singing it. Fortunately, a commercial was on the next channel. Anyway, I did visit his site, www.mikemurdock.com (watch out for the video clip of him that starts automatically).

The site is absolutely mad, with a 20 numbered buttons across the top and down a side bar. Each takes one a different page with various preachings and videos (some that don’t work) or advert for a fund raising scheme or some such thing. Of course, the numbered buttons imply that you should work your way through them. So, here are the first three. That’s as far as I could make it.

#1. A 1 minute sermon of faith.

#2. A 2 minute sermon that uses the word “meditation” a lot.

#3. After 2 innocuous words of “Wisdom”, we get this:

Yup, “Miracle Harvests”. So, is he suggesting that those who “partner” with him (that sounds pretty “gay”, doesn’t it…) get something in return. I wonder what. Some kind of harvest, like Jack and the beanstalk, I presume. Or not. And speaking of magic beans, I wish someone would do a “farting preacher” staring Mr. Mike.

Anyway, #3 has 4 pages. Plant a $58.00 seed and you will get the seven miracle harvests.

a.  M. H. of Uncommon Wisdom. Yup, you get the “Wisdom of God” that “determines your Favor, your Health and your Wealth.” Golly, with wisdom you make better decisions and they will “determine your increase”. Increase in what?

b.  M. H. of Uncommon Favor. I can’t quite figure this one out. Sow favor and then reap Favor in return. O.K. “Any honor of spiritual leadership unleashes the Favor of God.” This, of course, is associated with being Mike’s “partner”. Hmmm. Do you think I have it right: God will favor those who give Mike money and defers to him as an authority?

c.   M. H. of Uncommon Health and Healing. Now, this is curious. The blurb is basically about Mike’s charities in South Africa and Mexico, which, if they do the work he says, is really a good thing. But notice the title of this harvest. Somehow one reaps what one sows, and one becomes healed.

d. M.H. of Uncommon Ideas. If the third made you feel good about giving, the fourth will make you feel like a million bucks. Yup. God will give you good, marketable ideas. Yeah, right.

e. M. H. of Financial Prosperity. “God is Wealth-Conscious”. “Money is a weapon…that drives back the spirit of darkness”. Yeah, helps Mike pay his electric bill a zillion times over…

f. M. H. of Family Restoration. This is really obscene. “Your reaction to the Law of God Determines God’s Reaction to Your Children (Hosea 4:6b).” Really sick. Hosea is a metaphor filled book that likens Israel to a wanton woman and promises divine punishment on her and her offspring. How about the Miracle Harvest of an abusive (divine) husband/father?

g. M. H. of Your Personal Promotion. Basically a plea, not just for $58, but for that amount monthly.

Here is someone who planted the $58.00 seed in 2005 and waited 58 days.

Conclusion

Well, the 58 days is up. It’s time to look over the last 58 days and see if the 58 day seed covenant worked. Here is a brief summary of the things that happened:

Idid not receive what I specifically asked for. I asked for $3,340.30 at the beginning of the covenant, and did not receive it. In fact, my loan amount increased.

I entered 5 surveys with a chance to win $1,000 dollars but did not win any of them.

I started having car trouble.

I got a letter from my bank saying my account was overdrawn, and was charged 21 dollars.

I started having severe pain in my mouth, and I needed to see a dentist. I decided not to, so it wouldn’t interfere with the 58 day seed covenant.

I entered a survey to win a $25,000 “new look,” but did not win.

No one ever just “walked up to me and handed me money,” but I did find a quarter on the floor at a restaurant.

I got $832.86 back on my tax return.

So, does Mike Murdock’s 58 day seed covenant really work? You decide.

I would think not. Maybe that’s why he now want $58.00 every month…

Well, I won’t go through all 20. It is pretty repetitious and gets quite silly, but here is the blurb from the “Donate” button. This should put to rest any doubt about God’s will for the contents of your wallet.

Precious friend, thank you for Partnering with me!
The Gospel is your greatest investment. Seed guarantees Divine Favor.
Your Seed creates a covenant with God. Expect Uncommon Health… Uncommon Favor… Uncommon Wisdom and the greatest Financial Breakthrough ever!
The Size Of Your Seed Always Determines The Size Of Your Harvest.
Each month, I ask the Holy Spirit to provide an extra Seed of $58…to 3,000 Passionate Partners who love the Wisdom of God. This Seed of $58 reaches 58,000 homes through our Television Ministry. If you are joining The Wisdom Key 3,000…please request your special Partnership Pak…containing books and tapes that will Bless your life.
Write down…where you want to receive your Harvest the most and expect God to move swiftly to Honor our Covenant of Expectation.

3000 “passionate partners”. Oooooo… the Miracle Harvest of Uncommon Kinky! “Expect God to move swiftly to Honor our Covenant” Yeah, that’s a good one. This is the same God that will shit all over you ’cause your parents pissed him off. And we are supposed to trust him? Try again, Mike.

The slippery drunken rhetoric of the Miracle (hiccup) Channel. Another watch TV and type train of consciousness post.

Ok, I just got off the phone with Tim from Miracle Channel Review, popped open a cider and turned on the Miracle Channel’s immensely stupid but successful “Fresh Oil” money raising campaign. And I’m watching and typing, just like I did the other evening.

Holy Jebus B. Gobley™ Money Grubber Man! Tim told no fibs! They really were talking about “Drunken Warriors” serving the Lord!

 Now get this, Miracle Channel glamour boy, Faisal, was on about the First Nations folk who he says (correctly) have had a lot of trouble with alchol abuse, a result the disenfranchisement of these people. Then he goes on about hwo they are recovering their traditions and that this is a good thing and that God is helping… WHAT? THEIR god is helping them recover their pre-Christian ways?!? Then what is worse, Faisal says he WANTS THE NATIVES TO BECOME “DRUNKEN WARRIORS”!!!!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Talk about not winning the sensitivity prize!!

OK, Al Derry is now rambling on about how many “Drunken Warriors” (it costs $837) are phoning in pledges from the Maritimes. Where the fuck do they get these gullible people from?

Faisal is saying Drunken Warrior means “being intoxicated with love”, and “no arrow can harm you” blithering on about NT passages, again literalizing the metaphorical. Al Derry is feeling “prophetically” that some business will get “more than enough” cash. He feels like he is speaking to someone now (but who?). So now Christian “victory” is being equated with getting out of debt. Al wants someone’s company to become drunken warriors.  BUT CERTAINLY NOT A CAB COMPANY!!!!!! Please Al, don’t mean a cab company!

Why can’t they hire singers who can sing?  Anyway, Tim at M. C. Review is a great guy, deeply concerned with reigning in the Miracle Channel for their abuse of Canadian tax and charity laws, not to mention broadcasting regulations and getting justice for those taken in by televangelists and their ilk.

He would really like to start a consumer advocacy group for such people. A nobel cause, and I fully support it! His site has a lot of information on the laws and so forth. Oh, oh, oh,… Now Faisal is “releasing honour” over some Ontario guy’s wife. He just gave just over 700 bucks as an “honor” gift for his sweety. How touching, but how the fuck do you “release honour”??? The real trick to having a usable vocabulary is to not only know a lot of words but TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL THEY MEAN!!!! Jeez.  Crap, if the guy loves his wife and treats her accordingly, what the fuck is Faisal doing “releasing honour” but claiming to have some god-given power that makes him the star of another’s couple’s happiness.

Now they were talking about the TransCanada Pipeline and in the same breath “Praise God” they turn it into flowing divine love… “greasy greasy greasy” says Dr. Jim.

Now, back to drunken warrior love. When real drunken warriors want some “love”, don’t they mean “rape”? What kind of metaphor is this for a church supposedly founded on “Blessed are the Meek”?

Ok, they are “pouring out new wine”. I need another cider.

So, now some of the drunken warriors are wild oxes (yup, oxes, not oxen) and the wild oxes are drunken warriors. BUT WHO THE FUCK ARE THE BAGLE BOILERS?? Surely they must have bagle boilers?

Ok, that crappy band is playing again and I must get another drink…

Greasing the Collection Plate on the Miracle Channel

I was just watching the Miracle Channel and their “Fresh Oil” Fundraising campaign (see my previous post) and I must say I am impressed. The bullshit is flying fast and furious!

Around 6:00 this evening some of speakers were chewing the fat about God and such. One of the guys, Karl Lewis, was going rather hyper “prophesying” and quoting snatches of biblical passages (e.g., from the prophet Joel). He played the old trick of declaring that there was some lady watching who was in a wheelchair. Of course, he doesn’t know her name! but he all but orders her to stand up. Of course, the healthy viewer doesn’t know how many disabled folk tried standing up and fell flat on their faces! What is worse, the other guy, Al Derry, then chimes in, spewing standard cliches, and then declares that this woman is “GLUED” to her T.V. and then says he is–I AM NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP–gonna do something “prophetic”: HE STANDS UP!!! He fricking prophetifucking stands up. WOW! If he can do it, so can she!

Now they have some lady singing some tune, “Let the Redeemed of the Lord say so”, which sounds like it would be a good tune if done by a proper southern gospel band. Too bad she can’t sing to save her life. Well, the song is over now some guy is not singing even worse. AHHHHRGGGGH! Time to fetch dinner!

Holy Fuck, these guys are nuts!

If you send them $1200, however, they will send you 2 ounces of “Abba Anointing Oil”.

Now some fuck is talking about the anointing of the Wild Ox????

Faisal Malick now says “God is still talking to Wild Oxen”. So, he wants you to send in $921.00 (Cdn) and to say you want to be a Wild Ox.

Here is what their site says about donations:

All contributions will be used for the charitable purpose of religion, specifically, spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The Association estimates that it will receive charitable contributions in the amount of $120,000 per year from solicitations made through this web site. The estimated cost that was incurred in making the solicitation and in activities directly related to making the solicitation are $12,000 per year.

Now Faisal is saying people will overflow with “fresh oil” that will be given to more Wild Ox. Fuck. I knew this was cattle country, but this is getting ridiculous!

 What strikes me is how often these people speak in long drawn out and over done interconnected metaphors and the speakers seem to lose sight of the subject and they (Faisal is yelling now about the $921 ox being set free from his stall) can’t tell when they are speaking in metaphors or using literal descriptions of the world. I reckon if you can’t tell the difference between your own metaphorical  and plain speach, you are certified, Grade A, loonie tunes.

Faisal now sees the $921 ox and the $296? (one off, or per month) new ox. Now, discouraged people are the locked up ox. Jeepers, it’s hard to type and watch TV at the same time. “Horns” are now being exhalted as people are being anointed like wild ox. Back to the band.

Shit, that guy who can’t sing is singing again.

More later…

A Witch Worth Blowing Your Whistle Over?

Yeowzah! I’ve just “discovered” an advert for the Whistleblower magazine’s January issue on the Ultra-Right Political and Religious site World Net Daily. A witch, and what a witch! A very western womanly witch. Apparently witches are not simply fictional characters but:

The real thing – that is, the stunning phenomenon of more and more American housewives, students, professors, and even soldiers self-identifying as “witches” – is the topic of the January edition of WND’s elite monthly Whistleblower magazine…

What is witchcraft? … Is magic real? Why do witches often perform their ceremonies naked? And most of all, why do so many people today aspire to be witches?

Wicca is an official, legal religion in the U.S., and a fast-growing one at that…Witches in the armed services have even formed covens and routinely “worship” on U.S. military bases.

How did this happen – and why?

“Witchcraft, sorcery, magic and idol worship have been around since the earliest days of man,” said WND Editor Joseph Farah. “They do, indeed, pre-date Christianity as we know it today – just as their practitioners like to point out with pride. But they do not pre-date the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob – the one who created the universe. They are, in fact, part of a rebellion against Him and His laws.”

Added Farah: “Ever since the 1960s, this rebellion has been growing. It’s kind of the spiritual side of the political and social rebellion that took place in the latter part of that decade. Yet, this spiritual rebellion has continued unabated since then, and has grown exponentially faster and darker with each succeeding decade.”

Holy Jebus B. Gobley! What kind of government would allow nikkid witches to do stuff that isn’t Christian? Perhaps the same government that allows Christians to do stuff that isn’t Jewish, or Hindu or whatever.

A lot more is going on in this magazine and its cover, though. The woman on the cover is presumably not a wiccan but she is terribly good-looking, done up to the nines, and is posed rather “invitingly”. I actually like the picture a lot (ahh… I give away too much). But is it right for the cover of a magazine that purports to be defending a “Christian” way of life?

The magazine links the idea of ‘naked’ witches to this beautiful young woman. They are really perpetuating a stereotype of femininity that links women’s sexuality with religious apostacy and, indeed, an out-right society wide rebellion against God. The link between women and “dangerous” social behaviours and “destructive” religious activities has been with us for thousands of years and is a very prominent theme in some biblical passages (Hosea 1-3 anyone?).

A lot of Wiccans (and other folks who tend towards feminist perspectives on culture) would decry popular culture’s obsession with representations and idealizations of glamourous and amourous women (I will admit to being influenced rather a lot by those kind of images). The Whistleblower’s cover girl is presumably at ease with those kinds of styles and constructions of feminine beauty and the photographer has used them for all they are worth (without being too revealing). I don’t want to defend these stereotypes or the unrealistic expectations they create in the minds of self-conscious girls and women, but by linking this kind of image to what is considered “bad” the magazine is really shooting itself in the foot.

Indeed, in employing this kind of image to seduce readers to pick up the magazine (and that is what cover photos are for, aren’t they?), the publishers are trying to combate one percieved “social” problem while reinforcing another. They are marketing women as sexual objects to sell their publication. The reading public gets their fix of sexualized women vicariously through playing the ’self-righteous’ card. One can imagine countless Christian men thinking in the back of their minds:

Ohhh look at her! Wicca is so bad! Wow, I can see how people are drawn to this, she is gorgeous, this is awful! Look at her eyes, sooooo seductive. Must resist… Maybe if I buy the magazine I can resist, especially if there are more pictures of her inside…. ooooh, look, the ad says she will probably do her “rituals” naked! Imagine that, I better read more!

Certainly Christian women are as adversly affected by the media’s over active use of women as a marketing tools as are women of other religious/philosophical dispositions. Now, tell that to David Kupelian and the marketing genius behind the cover of his book that is also sold on World Net Daily:

The image, of course, evokes the second of the Bible’s creation stories (beginning in Genesis 2:4) in which the first women, Eve, ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and convinced her hubby, Adam, to do the same. The biblical story has a LOT of sexual connotations and it has has often been used throughout history to blame society’s ills on women who don’t do what they are told or keep their libido in check. I wonder if the irony of this has ever struck Kupelian. The advert says of the book:

Americans have come to tolerate, embrace and even champion many things that would have horrified their parents’ generation – from easy divorce and unrestricted abortion-on-demand to extreme body piercing and teaching homosexuality to grade-schoolers. Does that mean today’s Americans are inherently more morally confused and depraved than previous generations? Of course not, says veteran journalist David Kupelian. But they have fallen victim to some of the most stunningly brilliant and compelling marketing campaigns in modern history.

“The Marketing of Evil” reveals how much of what Americans once almost universally abhorred has been packaged, perfumed, gift-wrapped and sold to them as though it had great value. Highly skilled marketers, playing on our deeply felt national values of fairness, generosity and tolerance, have persuaded us to embrace as enlightened and noble that which all previous generations since America’s founding regarded as grossly self-destructive – in a word, evil.

In this groundbreaking and meticulously researched book, Kupelian peels back the veil of marketing-induced deception to reveal exactly when, where, how, and especially why Americans bought into the lies that now threaten the future of the country.

For example, few of us realize that the widely revered father of the “sexual revolution” has been irrefutably exposed as a full-fledged sexual psychopath who encouraged pedophilia. Or that giant corporations voraciously competing for America’s $150 billion teen market routinely infiltrate young people’s social groups to find out how better to lead children into ever more debauched forms of “authentic self-expression.”

I wonder if he also condemns the marketing of prayer-cloths, prophecies and so forth in the name of Jesus! Or the sale of Christian magazines with worldly images of beautiful women on the cover! His own marketing campaign is reinforcing a sexual stereotype the rest of the marketing industry relies on, too. OOOOOH, sorry, that one must be ok since it is biblical…

Getting back to Wicca, modern witchcraft, neo-paganism and so forth , what motivates a lot of people to get involved in these movements? For many there is a real ‘rebellion’ against the Chrsitian religion that construes society in ways these people do find acceptable. Many Wiccans reject Christianity because of the Bible’s construction of women as weaker, less moral or easily tempted into sin that will engulf all society. These biblical views are emphasized to a greater or lesser degree by varios denominations. There is a level of empowerment that “alternative” religions seem to offer. In many cases, there is a rejection of just those very kinds of images “Whistleblower” is employing to warn of the dangers of modern Witchcraft!

The sexualization of Christianity’s “enemy” and the feminization of the “enemy’s” human cohorts, are perhaps best seen in the witchhunts in which suspected witches were torturd until they confessed to submitting to Satan’s sexual advances, but it really goes back much further. Women bring death to the world, that is the message many Christian preachers have taught from the story of Adam and Eve. Eve the seduced and Eve the seductress:

Western society has been massively influenced by Christian ideas, and the gender constructions and “sub-cultures” that have developed in the West are no exception. Wicca would not be Wicca if Christianity (among other influences) had not shaped western consciousness and the western repertoire of symbols and images in the way it has. It is impossible to wiggle out from under the baggage of the past whether one is an atheist, a Wiccan, a Christian or whatever. The church has (however inadvertantly) given us a whole stock of symbols and ideas that people employ, redraw, celebrate and evolve into something else entirely in a myriad of unpredictable ways. It is part of our ever shifting cultural “language”, if you will. Wicca throws many of these concepts in the church’s face (not to mention the faces of other social institutions!). The reactionary response of the Christian right, however, only illustrates that behind the inventive and (at least to some oberservers) corney Wiccan and Pagan movements is a real commentary that shows us a lot about our society.

A Bible Lesson on Healing for Cash and a History Lesson on Cash for Healing.

This site is slowly turning into a rant against the “Prosperity Gospel” with loads of posts on Senator Grassley’s investigation of 6 popular evangelists who share the conviction that God intends people (especially themselves) to be rich. This prosperity gospel has stirred up a lot of debate from secular folks and people within the Christian church who feel their communities have been badly embarrassed by what they consider false teachings and exploitation of people. So, why stop now?

Another thing the Society for the Happily Unchurched Freethinking Folks of Lethbridge (that is, me, my cats, my plush purple buffalo Bixby, my pals Dan, Natasha, etc) can’t stand is the excesses of the Christian Right, be it in USA or in Canada. So, let’s try to combine the two!

The local Christian TV station, the Miracle Channel hosts a number of these evangelist’s shows and advocates the prosperity gospel to their own ends. My previous post has loads more details on the “Miracle Channel Review” website that likes to keep tabs on the broadcaster. Many of the Miracle Channel’s shows are American with a decidedly right wing political view, as are some of the Canadian shows it airs. So, in keeping with SHUFFL’s status as bit of a peanut gallery to in-house Christian debates, I thought I would just get right down to the nitty gritty and turn to the “good book” itself and see what it has to say about money and relate that to some good old Canadian history.

Surprise, surprise, I found a great little story that seems rather appropriate.

The book of Second Kings (chapter 5) has a great little story of the “Man of God” (i.e., a prophetic figure), Elisha, who is visited by a general from Aram (in modern Syria). This General Naaman is a great warrior but suffers from leprosy. On the advice of a captured Israelite slave-girl, he proposes to visit Elisha in Samaria. The king of Aram give Naaman a load of gold to present to the king of Israel. The Israelite monarch thinks something is up, figuring that the Arameans are seeking a pretext to go to war since it would be impossible to cure the disease. Elisha gets wind of this and sends for Naaman.  Elisha tells him to bathe seven times in the Jordan River (although nothing is said of the health of the NEXT person who bathes downstream…). Naaman thinks this is silly (do you blame him?) but his servants convince him to give it a go. Lo and behold (told you it was a Bible story), it works. Naaman then offers Elisha a gift. The prophet refuses. Naaman then gets a few mule loads of good Israelite earth and starts off for home convinced that the Israelite deity is the god for him.

As the now non-leprous general is on his way home, Elisha’s flunky Gehazi figures his boss should have taken the payment Naaman offered and thinks he could still get something if he acts quickly. So he runs after Naaman and asks for a talent of silver and some clothes (apparently there were designer shops in Damascus) since two prophetic disciples just stopped by Elisha’s place (apparently in need of cash and a change of clothes). Naaman, the enthusiastic convert offers Gehazi two talents and goes home.

Elisha gets his loin cloth in a knot and says, “Is it a time to receive money and to receive clothes and olive groves and vineyards and sheep and oxen and male and female servants? Therefore, the leprosy of Naaman shall cling to you and to your descendants forever.”

Why didn’t Elisha want money for his services? Why was it not time for prophets and healers to take offered money in Elisha’s day but self professed seers, visionaries, and faith healers now go to great lengths to solicit funds? It is not as if Naaman could not afford it. Hell, he would have been rich as was his king. Indeed, the Bible says he travelled to Samaria with 10 talents of silver, 6000 shekels of gold and ten cool designer suits. Gehazi was only asking for about a tenth of what Naaman was prepared to pay!

Is there an object lesson in this? Should this story be taught in Sunday schools (I presume it is in some)? Should it be taught on syndicated Christian TV as a counter to the “prosperity preachers” and the “Faith healers” who peddle book and blessing along side trumped up claims of miracles? 

This brings me to the Christian Right  and why Canada is sometimes labeled a ”socialist”  country in comparison with America. We have a (faltering) public health care system, highly subsidized universities, and a social welfare program that is relatively comprehensive (although it does not address all the needs of the poor in the country: its a bit broken, too). Where did these left wing, “godless commie” ideas come from?

Well, much of them, and much of the massive will needed to make them government policy, came from Christian clergy and a movement begun in the late 19th century called the “Social Gospel” (Canadian Encyclopedia Article; the short Wikipedia Article deals mainly with the movement in the US). This movement stemmed from a number of denominations that felt that they could see God working through social change to improve the conditions of those left destitute or oppressed by industrialization and so forth. The Canadian Encyclopedia says:

Its central belief was that God was at work in social change, creating moral order and social justice. It held an optimistic view of human nature and entertained high prospects for social reform. Leaders reworked such traditional Christian doctrines as sin, atonement, salvation and the Kingdom of God to emphasize a social content relevant to an increasingly collective society. The Social Gospel at large gave birth to the new academic discipline of social ethics and in Canada contributed most of the impetus to the first sociology programs.

I do not know why the movement did not have as much political clout in the US as it did in Canada, but a lot of (now-secular) social institutions stem from this movement.

A lot of it came from the likes of this guy:

 James Shaver Woodsworth (d. 1942), a Methodist minister, took an active role in helping the downtrodden, supporting labour unions and the anti-war movement. And then there is this guy:

Tommy Douglas was a Baptist minister in Saskatchewan in the 1930s and soon got into politics. He became Premier of the province and really is the father of Canada’s health care system. He was voted the greatest Canadian ever in a 2004 poll. The Canadian Encyclopedia sys this:

When Douglas moved to Weyburn, Saskatchewan, following his ordination in 1930, he found much suffering, for that province had been especially hard hit by economic depression and drought. Douglas soon became involved in ministering to people’s physical and spiritual needs, while he pursued further academic studies in Christian ethics. These studies, along with his experience of the GREAT DEPRESSION, led him to conclude that political action was necessary to alleviate the suffering. In 1931 he established a local association of the Independent Labour Party, and 2 years later he attended the first national convention of the new, avowedly socialist CO-OPERATIVE COMMONWEALTH FEDERATION (CCF). …

Though Douglas did not realize his dream of a socialist Canada, he and his colleagues had considerable influence on government. Programs such as Medicare, a Canada-wide pension plan and bargaining rights for civil servants were first advocated by Douglas and his party, and these are now more or less firmly in place and universally accepted in Canada.

Doubtlessly there would have been a lot an avowed SHUFFLer and Christians like Douglas and Woodsworth would have disagreed on, but it would be grossly unfair to say that atheists and freethinkers in this country do not own them a great debt of gratitude. Many Christians in Canada (and in the US, as elsewhere) continue to be tireless workers for the common good without judging people on their theology or pocketbooks. It would be a travesty if the Christian right held sway over the Christian left or Christian centre, even if they didn’t get much representation in secular politics. A lot of good has come from Christian social programs, volunteer work, and self-lessness. It would also be unfair to teach about the contributions to Canada made by folks like Douglas without mentioning their faith as primary motivations for them. They did what they did because they thought it was what their God wanted them to do. A secular society should not be afraid or embarrassed by the religion of its members working for the common good. I think this is why I’m so irate at Canadian versions of the prosperity gospel and the right-wing politics of some Christians in Canada: they seem to be mocking or selling out something a national character I am very proud of, and one, even as an atheist, I am not ashamed to say came from devout Christians.  I will let Tommy Douglas have the last few words.

“Improving people’s economic condition is not an end in itself, it’s a means to an end…. I never thought a man could save his soul if his belly was empty or that he could think about things like beauty and goodness if he had a toothache.”

Tommy Douglas in conversation, 1982, from Dave Margoshes, Tommy Douglas: Building the New Society, Preface

“The religion of tomorrow will be less concerned with the dogmas of theology and more concerned with the social welfare of humanity.” Research review, 1934

 Maybe he was wrong, but then on the other hand:

“We should never, never be afraid or ashamed about dreams. The dreams won’t all come true; we won’t always make it; but where there is no vision a people perish. Where people have no dreams and no hopes and aspirations, life becomes dull and a meaningless wilderness.”

From A. W. Johnson, Dream No Little Dreams, Introduction.

Oh, and read his story of Mouseland.

Reviewing the Miracle Channel

A frequent topic here on SHUFFL is Lethbridge’s own purveyors of the prosperity gospel, the ”Miracle Channel” TV station. It has some syndication across Canada on Shaw cable and Bell Expressview, and has affiliations with some other other broadcasters in the US and beyond.

As I’ve noted earlier (here, here, here, and here) the station broadcasts the shows of a number of the promenent televangelists under the watchful eye of US senator Charles Grassley who is seeking information about the fundraising of these ‘minstries’ and the oppulent lifestyle of their famous chief preachers. The station also errs (note the clever pun) the shows of some other rather dubious characters not in the good senator’s line of site.

My own efforts to call attention to (and have a bit of fun at the expense (pun intended [again] of) the Miracle Channel’s money grubbing content pales in comparison to the concerted efforts of Tim Thibault and his compatriots at the MIRACLE CHANNEL REVIEW site.

In an earlier post I rather badly mischaracterized the MCR as an evangelical site. Tim wrote a comment and corrected me on that one. He also commentd that I was guilty of also characterizing it as a southern Alberta based site, when in fact Tim is from Humboldt Saskatchewan. That is probably a far more terrible offence! I hereby repent in sackcloth and ashes.

At any rate, the MCR is a great site. Tim has really taken the station to task over its own fundraising strategies and the content of some of the shows it broadcasts. Its purpose is to evaluate the teachings (and in this sense, also the practices, I think) of the Miracle Channel according to what Tim and Co. understand as the true gospel of Jesus. This standard seems to include all the bits of Christian ethics that denounce greed, self-aggrandizement, lying, exploiting the poor, stealing, selling out the Truth for cash and power, and generally being a self-righteous jerk. Tim seems to have his work cut out for him but he does not pull punches. Here is what he posted under the headline “Accountability”… coming to an evangelist near you!

Evangelists living off the avails of prostitution (prostituting the Bible for a buck) are finally being investigated for their lavish lifestyle and excessive spending habits funded by donations from sincere givers who believe their finances are being put to good charitable use.

… Therefore, we would like to issue a caution to potential donors of the following ministries:

Without Walls International Church & Paula White Ministries (Randy and Paula White) (Letter from Grassley)
World Healing Center Church Inc. & Benny Hinn Ministries - Benedictus (Benny) Hinn (Letter from Grassley)
Joyce Meyer Ministries - David and Joyce Meyer (Letter from Grassley)
New Birth Missionary Baptist Church and Bishop Eddie Long Ministries - Bishop Eddie L. Long (Letter from Grassley)
World Changers Church International and Creflo Dollar Ministries - Creflo and Taffi Dollar (Letter from Grassley)
Kenneth Copeland Ministries - Kenneth (Ken) and Gloria Copeland (Letter from Grassley)

…  For too long, these so-called ministers have robbed from the poor in order to become rich. They have taken advantage of people in vulnerable and desperate situations only to fund their extravagant and extremely comfortable lifestyle.

When you hear of Meyers purchasing a $23,000 toilet and Hinn spending tens of thousands on “layovers” at exotic resorts between crusades, somebody had better start asking some questions. 

Tim has filed a number of complaints with the Canadian Radio-Telecommunications Commission (CRTC), the government agency that regulates TV in Canada. Back in June 2007 he filed a complaint about the show “Financial Solutions with Todd Coontz“. Sadly, the CRTC did not find that the show violated any regulations although they did say it was really on the borderline. You can read their letter to Tim in the comments section to the post, here.

 Another interesting thing about the MCR is its feature, the “Hot Seat” where they ask the Miracle Channel officials to responde to a lot of pointed questions and get very few answers (any surprise there?).

Most importantly, they provide a link to Under the Sun Ministries, that wants to help people who have been victimized by unscrupulous ministries and evangelists. All of this sort of leaves me wondering what sort of consumer advocacy groups in Canada would take on evangelists or a church. If anyone knows of any, let pass it on and I will provide the info.

Anyway, all the best to Tim and Miracle Channel Review. I suppose we can find any number of things to disagree about, but in terms of wanting to have some sort of accountability from religious money-making schemes, I think we have a lot in common!

And sorry about “Alberta” thing again…

Fresh Oil Miracle Channel Fundraising Campaign. Rhetorical polish on a greasy collection plate.

Lethbridge’s own prosperity gospel proliferating T.V. station, the Miracle Channel is looking forward to reaping a harvest in their first big faith sowing campain of 2008, the Fresh Oil & New Wine campaign. Of course, this is in addition to all the fundraising done by the shows the station airs, including a number of those under investigation by Senator Grassley in the U.S. I’ve made some previous posts about this (e.g. Here). The Miracle channel hosts the shows of Benny Hinn, Creflo Dollar and some of the other infamous six. Here is what M.C. says about thier own bid for more cash.

It’s a brand new year and a great time to be anointed with Fresh Oil and refreshed with the New Wine of the Holy Spirit. Tune into the Miracle Channel during this upcoming special Partner Week called Fresh Oil and New Wine, January 28 - February 2, 2008 and start 2008 off with a fresh anointing of the Holy Spirit upon your life. …

…

If you plan to be in the Southern Alberta area, please come down to the Miracle Channel studios and be part of our live studio audience at 4:00 PM each night. For more information call (403) 380-3399, fax (403) 380-3322, or email us at mail@miraclechannel.ca

 Well, there you have it. You are invited.

There will no really “big” names attending, although they will be bringing up some folk from the U.S., including Fred & Val Bennett and Danny Diaz. An almost local speaker has the biggest claims about him in the blurbs.

 Al Derry comes from the Dream Centre in Medicine Hat, Alberta and brings with him great enthusiasm for the things of God. His prophetic giftings will inspire you as he speaks words of knowledge into people’s lives. [Medicine Hat is about an hour and a half drive's away from Lethbridge]

WOW!!! “Prophetic giftings”! … Excuse me but what the @#*!!@#% is a “gifting”???? This is another one for my jargon file!  (I’ve already commented on anointing and fresh oil there). What the hell is wrong with claiming the guy has a “prophetic gift”? Well,  he probably hasn’t got that, either, but at least it doesn’t offend the ear. As far as ears go, why doesn’t he speak his words of knowledge to people? How the heck does someone speak knowledge ”into people’s lives”? Makes him sound like his preaching is some sort of channel for some sort of divine energy. Oh yeah, that is what is being claimed. My bet is that he doesn’t say anything the frequent churchgoer hasn’t heard a hundred times. One thing I have discovered is that there is often a very blurry line in much religious rhetoric between literal meanings of words and metaphoric and figurative meanings. It works like this: a common occurrence is described in ambiguous language that portrays it as a supernatural event. The rhtoric comes so frequently an dthe ambuity often so intractable, however, that many listeners or readers fail to distinguish between the ‘real world’ event or situation being described and the ’supernatual’ reality being alluded to. In fact, in many cases, the conversation moves so rapidly and so often between the mundane and the extraordinary that the audience really loses track of just what is being discussed. Our writer at the Miracle channel is playing the grey area for all it is worth.

Earlier in the advert, we read this:

As we celebrate this new season, let us discern prophetically what God is saying for 2008. We are praying Joel 2:19-24 over you: The LORD will answer and say to His people, “Behold, I will send you grain and new wine and oil, And you will be satisfied by them; I will no longer make you a reproach among the nations…the threshing floors shall be full of wheat, And the vats shall overflow with new wine and oil.”

Ok, the biblical book of Joel does say what the Miracle Channel says it says. But how does reciting it back to God constitute “prophetically discerning” what God wants to say to the website’s audience? If someone asked God (on the assumption that he is there to answer requests) what he wanted to say to (as opposed to through) the Miracle Channel perhaps he would advise them to ignore Joel and read the Gospel of Matthew and then look in a mirror. Here are a few selections that come to mind:

Matthew 6:5 “And when you pray, you are not to be as the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners, in order to be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.

Matthew 13:22 “And the one on whom seed was sown among the thorns, this is the man who hears the word, and the worry of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.

Matthew 23:14 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you devour widows’ houses, even while for a pretense you make long prayers; therefore you shall receive greater condemnation.

Matthew 23:23 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others.

The book of Matthew seems to have the largest number of uses of the word “hypocrites” in the Christian Bible (the verses above are taken from the New American Standard translation). It is interesting that a lot of these uses are in the context of chastising “scribes”. The fundamentalist rhetoricians and authors whose countless books are pedaled on every televangelist’s program seem to me to be the a valid modern equivalent of those who Jesus is remembered as criticizing. Scribes;scribbling and wittering away about “scripture” and interpreting it to suit themselves.

The Pharisees are castigated in the New Testament for their alleged strict attitude toward Jewish law, including the refusal to heal on a Sabbath. Jewish law, often derived from the teachings of the Pharisees, however, encourages the breaking of Sabbath law to save a life. The Pharisees are known for being the ancestors of “oral torah” the creative interpretations of Torah originally transmitted orally and then collected and greatly expanded in the Mishnah and Talmud.

The Pharisees really get bad press by the Christians scribes in the New Testament. This may be because key elements in Pharisaic theology were so similar to important Christian ideas: beliefs in the eternal soul, judgment and resurrection, and divine control of history while allowing for free will. If the NT writers could call the pharisaic movement a study in hypocrisy, one wonders what they would call the chief practicioners of the prosperity gospel and the fundamentalists who churn out new revelations, detect “shifts in the heavenlies“ and plead with people to give more and more, week after week, while glorying in the chance to claim humility in front of a TV audience.

Yup, women preachers eat beans too…

Mrs. Farting Preacher: Paula White

The most famous faithfully flatulent is this guy, Robert Tilton, who has moments of particular ‘anointing’ from God…

Tilton isn’t one of the six famous evangelists pressured by the US senator Grassley, who is looking into their money making operations, but Ms. White is.

On her website, White has a new campaign FIRST FRUITS 2008 , advising the faithful to:

Release the provision God has already established and activate His promise into prosperity - - success in your spirit, mind, body, emotions and finances by KEEPING FIRST THINGS FIRST!

2008 can be your year of new beginnings to prosper and succeed!

Through God’s principle of First Fruits, you can see His blessings impact your entire year and transform you in ways you could never imagine.

First Fruits is a principle of faith and obedience that God established from the beginning.

“When you come into the land which I give you, and reap its harvest, then you shall bring a sheaf of the first fruits of your harvest to the priest”                           -Leviticus 23: 10, NKJV

“Activate his promise”: Sounds like they way you have to log into Microsoft to get their software to work. It is amazing how many Protestant preachers eagerly pick out Old Testament passages that suit them but then preach that Christians are free from Old Testament law. The “first fruits” idea are not “priniciples” but religious law for the ancient Jews to bring offerings to the temple. Its applicability to Christians whose theology repudiates those laws, and have no access to a legitimate temple either (since it was destroyed in 70 CE) is surely one of pure opportunism for White.

Put God first in every area of your life - - through prayer, planning and giving.

Keep first things first through faith and obedience as you prepare for the 2008 harvest you are believing for by giving God your best. Sow your First Fruits offering and turn God’s promise into provision for the entire year!

I wonder what Paula would do if someone rolled up to her house with truck full of brussles sprouts and dumped them on her lawn as a “first fruits” offering (cause that what is called for, a portion of your produce). Bet she would do more than fart.

Prosperity Gospel Investigation Article in Lethbridge Herald

The news story I commented on the other day has hit the local paper in its Saturday “Faith” section. It is a pretty good article and I hope it elicits the kind of letter-writing campaigns that the Herald often features. Unfortunately, I can’t find the article on the online edition. Of course, many local Christians are pretty offended by the prosperity gospel (Lethbridge is home to the Miracle Channel and Victory Church, two bastions of the PG in Canada). 

Of the six televangelists under the scrutiny of the US Senator Grassley, at least four are on the Miracle Channel: Creflo Dollar, Kenneth Copeland, Joyce Meyer, Benny Hinn. Southern Alberta is also home to the “Miracle Channel Review“, a website run by some very evangelical Christians  dedicated to “examining the teachings of the Miracle Channel in Light of the Gospel of Christ”. It criticizes not only the prosperity gospel teachings of the channel and many of the shows it hosts but also other teachings of some of the broadcasts.

I’ve commented earlier on the biblical passages the Victory Church cites in its statement of faith about finances being part of what it calls “total prosperity” (3 John 1:2; Malachi 3:10-11; Luke 6:38; 2 Corinthians 9:6-10; Deuteronomy 28:1-14).Of course, people should be free to give whatever money they want to whatever cause they wish to support. That being said, people soliciting funds should be held accountable for the promises they make about whatever benefits the donors will reap from their donations.

I can’t see how giving so that you may receive from the hands of God is in anyway different from buying snake-0il wonder cures or “melt fat away” tablets. On the one hand, people should not be so stupid as to believe this crap and, on the other, sellers should not be making promises that cannot be backed up by independent reviewers.  The medical and financial industries are rightly held accountable for their products, be they medical treatments or recommended investments and the promises and advertising slogans used to sell them. The legitimate medical industry has masses of legislation and regulations to follow. Charlatans selling “ancient herbal cures”, various gadgets and gizmos to “detoxify” the body etc. seem to find a way around these rules. The financial sector is also tightly controlled and an increasing number of top executives are finding their way into prisons for various offenses. Any remaining loopholes should be slammed shut and the quicker the better.

People are trusting their health and lives to these companies. When an unscrupulous organization is preying on people’s the fears of ill-health or an unstable future, the cost can be more than financial to those taken in. Religion is many things, but it needs to be stressed that among these things it is an industry. “Faith based” approaches to health or financial stability should not be held to a different standard than the medical or financial industries. (Click here for my comments on a prayer published on the Miracle Channel’s website that will supposedly cure you kid of food allergies)

When people donate to a “ministry” that suggests that they will “reap a harvest” of prosperity that greatly outweighs their initial seed/investment they are not making substantially different promises than an investment advisor—except in regards to how the pay-off will come. I think it is time to slam shut the door on commercial religion’s exploitation of people. We should encourage our own politicians to investigate prosperity preachers and faith healers. I also think it is time to remove the last tax-breaks churches and clergy receive.

Of course, many religious organizations and faithful folk are tireless in their charity work, and their efforts must not be undermined. Yet, there is a difference between helping people get off the street, or feeding the poor and preaching the gospel. Beyond finances spent on humanitarian aid, religious organizations and leaders should not expect their income to be exempt from the taxes that other organizations or people have to live with.

Hallelujah! Pay the Lord! Glory!

Christian commercialism is pretty easy to find, and some of it is pretty blatant, but I found this one that really takes the communion wafer:

Prophetic Words List: http://www.elijahlist.com/words/index.html

Here are the a few of their more recent “words” and their “authors”

“Beautiful, One-of-a-Kind ElijahSeasons 2008 Calendar is ON SALE NOW — Save $3.00 Each!”   — Elijahlist

From Voice of the Martyrs  — Paid Advertisement

Cal Pierce: The Victorious Bride will Call Forth “ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN!”  — Cal Pierce

Steve Shultz: “To Receive Your Tax Deduction, Donate to ElijahList Ministries/Prophetic.TV (the same organization) by December 31″— Paid Advertisment

JoAnn McFatter: “Vibration of Sounds will be Released–Get Ready for the Frequency of Heaven!” JoAnne McFatter.

Yup, paid advertisments are “Prophetic Words”. The site also has a link so you can donate–not free prophecies, but cold hard cash, or Visa.

One of the things they will sell you is this CD.

Yup, the “Live Soaking Sessions”, by Alberto and Kimberly Rivera, of which it is said:

The Live Soaking Sessions are recordings of extended times of spontaneous music and song in the Presence of God. These sessions demonstrate and teach possibilities as we experience the flow of the Spirit in intimate gatherings. Volume One features an hour of continuous music, where instruments and voices join together to release the life and sound of the Creator.

The focus is not solely on the music itself, but on enriching your communication with God. There is enough space to allow you to connect with the Lord apart from the lyrics in the songs. Our desire is that you would find this release to be a helpful tool as you invest time in God’s awesome presence!

Now, the CD will be yours for a “donation” of $32.00 US, but get a load of this:

The suggested donation amounts shown below are above the value of the product you will receive. The donated amount IN EXCESS of the fair market value of the item will be allowed by the IRS as tax deductible under IRS regulations.

Well, it would seem that only part of the 32 bucks is a “donation”, the rest is to actually pay for the product. But how much? It never says! How much will the tax reciept be?  Soaking? Perhaps it refers to “anointing“, but then, sometimes getting soaked is just getting soaked. Presumably they will also sell you an umbrella.

Lifeways Christian Stores will, with your own church logo on it: