Misquoted, Misinterpreted, or Misattributed?
Greta Christina takes on the “Liar, Looney, or Lord” trilemma with her typical logic, grace, and humour. Oh, yeah. She takes it on and kicks its ass.
But in a weird way, I think the rhetorical weakness of the “Liar, Loony or Lord” argument is also its unintended strength. Because for all its logical shoddiness and cheap emotional manipulation, it forces non-believers to piss or get off the pot. It forces people who were waffling to be outspoken. It forces people who were being vague to be clear. It forces us to say, “Yes, I think your God was not God. And if your God thought he was God, then he was wrong. He was crazy, or he was a liar, or he was misquoted and never actually said that he was God, or he never really existed. You want me to say that — fine. I’ll say it.”
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If you bothered to read the Bible, it’s obvious — REALLY obvious — that Jesus was not god, but only a delusional dickhead jackass. People say he’s the nicest guy ever. I read the Gospels, and I don’t see it. He seemed like a real dickhead to me. I mean, read the end of Matthew ch. 25. Read also the part where he calls the women a dog, and asks why he should help a dog, but finally, reluctantly agrees to help. What a dickhead. Seriously. Hard to find a dickhead bigger than Jesus. I don’t know anybody who’s as big an asshole as Jesus was. And I am entrrely, 100% serious about that. YOU, and everybody you know, are probably nicer than Jesus was as described in the Gospels. Go read it.
Not to mention, it’s just freakin’ dumb. I mean COME ON. Read it. It’s the dumbest thing ever. Ok, Scientology’s got it beat in the “dumb” category, but not by much.
God, who is perfect, created the earth, and all upon it, but his perfect creation failed to know that it was evil to eat from the tree of knowledge — the one thing that would let them know what was evil — which somehow got placed the garden — along with the snake, also allowed to slither about. And then God gets all pissy and throws everybody out, even though he knew this was going to happen all along. Then he has people doing animal sacrifices, even thoush this doesn’t really appease him, but he lets it go on for a few thousand years. As an amusing interlude, he gets pissed off and kills everyond he can’t stuff on a boat, in an attempt to get evil stuffed back in the bottle. That doesn’t work. Noah immediately gets drunk and has sex with his childred as soon as the boat lands. Then the animal sacrifices go on a bit longer before god decides to magically impregnate a woman so he can be born as a man, then have himself killed to appease himself (finally) — but, and this is important — the appeasement only works if you really really believe this story. If you don’t believe the story, then it doesn’t work. And instead of appeasement, AFTER YOU’RE DEAD, you’re punished, forever and ever in a burning flame. Yeah, that’s the ticket. But he LOVES you. Yeah, even if you don’t believe he still loves you, just shows you this love by torturing you forever. You chose the torture after all, by failing to believe this ridiculous story.
COME ON. It’s retarded. BLATANTLY retarded. Only frightened children (who eventually become cowed, believing adults) and imbeciles believe this story on first telling.
Christianity is laughably dumb.
Her blog is one of the best thing on the net. I wish I was coherent enough to write long stuff like that. I love the way she closed her piece:
“We are finally willing to say, “I didn’t want to be an asshole about this, but if you’re going to put me in the position where I have to be either a coward or an asshole, then I’m going to be an asshole.”" Brilliant.